So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Congratulations! We have a period
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
