TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
