i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
