I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize