Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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