If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
