He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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