Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
