Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
