he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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