i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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