Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
