ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize