You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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