if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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