He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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