do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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