What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
