How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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