Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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