you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
