I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
