This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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