Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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