It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize