OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
