I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
