But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
