she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
