i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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