"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
