doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
