Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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