Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
