At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
