..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
