I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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