everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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