Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
