so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
