i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
