I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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