The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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