He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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