next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
well you can't waste a boner
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
