Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
