sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize