i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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