Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
