burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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