Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I have feelings that need drinking.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize