Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
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