is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
