just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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