How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
