she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
