omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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