last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
