you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
