It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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