Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
We got so high we made milksteak
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Randomize
