I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
