Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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