In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
