he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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